Are You Grieving During Menopause?

Grief is a sneaky emotion. 

We expect it when we lose someone we love or a beloved pet. 

But grief can sneak up on us with ANY loss, change, or transition. 

And what is menopause but one hell of a transition?

We experience a loss of the physical, mental, and emotional self we once knew. Even coping with losing your fertility and youth can take a toll (even if you’re happily child-free, like me).

⚠️So before you chalk up every emotional flare-up to hormones, take a moment and consider if it might be unresolved grief.

The good news is that you’re starting a new chapter now: a liberated, unencumbered future where you don’t have to worry about periods or birth control. 

You’ve lived a lot of life and gained much wisdom, but you still have so much life to live.

‍What an exhilarating and sexy place to be in!

But here’s the caveat: You can’t skip the grief stage. If you try to suppress grief, it’ll come out in ways you can’t imagine.

No one explains that better than Kris Carr, an NYT Best-Selling author, wellness leader, and cancer thriver. Her latest book, I’m Not a Mourning Person, focuses on the messy emotions of grief and how to deal with them.

I had a conversation with Kris a while back about grief and how to cope with loss.

Kris Carr discusses how we can deal with grief (no matter the loss) and emerge from the other side as more authentic and alive versions of ourselves.

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What to do when you're grieving through menopause

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1. Keep your health in mind

One of the BEST ways to care for yourself is through physical, mental, and spiritual health. Just don’t go so hard all at once. It’s best to keep new habits as simple as possible. 

Here are some examples:

Physical health:

Add a 10-minute walk into your daily routine (or even a few times a week)

Mental health:

Start a daily gratitude practice by listing 3-5 things you’re grateful for

Spiritual health:

Do a short meditation in the morning or whenever you need to re-center

Here’s a secret… 🤫Your physical, mental, and spiritual health are all connected. So, chances are, what you do for one will benefit the others. This is doubly good for menopause because taking care of your health is the key to minimizing symptoms and feeling more like yourself! Win!

2. Feel your feelings

This is a big one. We tend to want to avoid uncomfortable feelings. And the BIG emotions that tag long with grief like despair, rage, or shame are no fun. But as much as we’d love to shut those messy emotions out, they WILL pop up. Often in destructive ways like shouting at a stranger, crying in a meeting, or snapping at your partner. 

So when those emotions surface, feel them, let them wash over you, and express them (in a healthy way, of course). 

The emotions will pass, and you’ll feel MUCH better.

3. Focus on one thing at a time

When dealing with grief, we need to be patient with ourselves. Between hormones and grieving our old selves, menopause is a bumpy ride.

Don’t overload yourself with every remedy there is. Just focus on ONE thing and go from there. Add some greens to your lunch, journal to process your BIG feelings, call a friend you can vent to, and remember to have more FUN.

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Menopause is an opportunity to grow & be your most authentic self

The freedom and liberation that comes with this transition make now the perfect time to reassess your goals, values, and life in general.

The bright side of the grieving process is you remember life is too short to keep telling yourself, “Someday I’ll x, y, or z.” Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, so live the life you want NOW.

Sure, life won’t be the same after menopause, but you are beginning a new path now. It’s time to realign your values and priorities and even resuscitate old dreams you thought were passed.

For more (peri)menopause info, head to my Menopause Menoverse, where you can access my conversation with experts on the topic.

We talk about the best workouts, hair loss, skin changes, sex during menopause, mental health, weight gain, hot flashes, and more.

Treat this Menoverse as your one-stop shop for all things menopause (I’m constantly adding to it)!

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To your health & wellbeing,

Tamsen

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